slip into your nightmare...welcome to my world.

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 06:48:03 GMT

Holy fuck i have not posted an entry in ages.

The holidays were somewhat eventful at the start, however that doesn't mean those events were enjoyable in the least.

The res. My brother is being kicked outta my dads house so I've decided to go week on week off with Karen and dad. (Yip-Yah).

Boredom has consumed me.

Smidge

Holiday's Of Fuck'dness

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 07:45:36 GMT

I have to go to queensland for the holidays, whether i like it or not (yeh, thanx dad SOOO much...) I don't talk to most of my couzins, cuz I'm way uncomfortable around kids. (animals aren't kids, people). So there's going to be no socialness. My laptop is going to be taken away from me. No friend contact ( :( ). I probably won't be outside unless dragged. My skin will be pale-ER. The only psychical activity will most likely the long and tiring journey downstairs for food. I shall be lazier. I HATE HOLIDAYS! You know what? I'd much prefer to stay at school, and for those of who have heard me whine (and if you haven't you must be deaf because I whine ALOT) about how much I hate school, that's saying something. I find most of my family repulsive and annoying.

New Years Resolution? Where's the point? We always just go back to our old habits, and shit like that. Pfft. >.>

What am I doing now? Sitting on my ass. What have I been doing? Sitting on my ass. What will I most likely be doing in the future? Sitting on my ass. New Years resolution? Make time to sit on my ass some more.

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 08:38:12 GMT

Yeah, sorry to all you lazy people who wanted me to stay in canberra. I can't this year. Queensland calls.

Yeah I made this one up. Got the idea from Hannah. It's point is to be confusing.

“I’m HaPpY hErE” \\I cAn’T sTaY wHeRe I dOn’T bElOnG\\ “If I jUsT pReTeNd I lOvE hIm It MiGhT jUsT bEcOmE rEaLiTy”\\AlOnE aNd InViSiBlE… I hAtE bEiNg Me\\ “I cOuLd Be HaPpY fOr EtErNiTy” \\WhY dOeS sHe AlWaYs TaKe ThE eAsY wAy OuT? sHe’S dEsTrOyInG mE\\ “I’lL jUsT pReTeNd ThE ‘oThEr OnE’ dOeSn’T eXiSt I cOuLd…” \\ If OnLy I sHe LeFt I cOuLd… \\ {{‘\‘\ Live the perfect fairytale…\’\’}}

hmmm pointless much?

So anyways, school has become even more of a bore then usual, which I thought was impossible O.O Apparently not.

I got pissed with certain people so I have changed groups, for now. I am now sitting with Kim, Bhavana and Hannah. FOR NOW. Probably till the end of the year, if they're lucky.

ta-ta

I don't want to die painfully

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 07:45:25 GMT

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Smidge
2. Smudge (>.> oh how original)
3. Laura (very, VERY rarely)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. darkangelfury13
2. dark_angel_sanctuary_13
3. ydoyouwannaknow_stoplookin (yeah...kinda the odd one out)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. hmmmm... my taste in music (well no shit)
2. My taste in movies
3. And being able to...umm...put up with Eliza. (you gotta admit, that's a talent)

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Getting too bored too easily/quickly
2. unable to stop making sarcastic remarks (it can be a bitch)
3. Unable to get close to people

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish (the height sorta gives it away)
2. Dutch
3. Egyptian ^_^

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU (or mostly creep you out):
1. being helpless
2. being controlled
3. Eliza

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. my laptop
2. my music
3. Everything else can go to hell

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. pants of black doom
2. New York shirt
3. and we call these p.j's, people.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists at the moment):
1. Bullet For My Valentine
2. Breaking Benjamin (yes, I am over Evanescence atm)
3. Demon Hunter

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Bullet for my Valentine: Suffocating under words of sorrow
2. Panic at the disco: But it's better if you do
3. Finch: A Man Alone

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Rave
2. Bungie jumping
3. being able to be confident.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Eyes for only each other
2. Trust (includes honesty)
3. Ability to be ourselves

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I am continously bored
2. I suck at sleeping
3. I'm skinny < lie

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. hands (i dunno why...don't ask)
3. hair

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. play sport (i suck, and no matter how hard i f@cking try I don't get any better)
2. draw
3. stop myself from being sarcastic

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Listening to music
2. talkin to randoms cuz i can
3. writing

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go to the goddamn toilet
2. Wish everyone would fuck the hell off
3. Do something FUN.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. writing
2. Acting (not that i'm that good at it)
3. Becoming a soldier

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Egypt
2. Italy
3. Egypt (did I forget to mention Egypt?)

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. I only get to pick three?

OFFICIALLY PISSED OFF!!!!!

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 11:13:48 GMT

They have changed their minds from 'let's go over seas' to, 'let's go to Tasmania' to 'let's go to NSW, the place Laura is sick of.' So yeah, fuck them all I'm stayin in Canberra this time. God, just when they had my hopes up of actually doing something I might've liked they decide to do something i loathed. So yeah, I'll stay in canberra with my awesom-ish, bummishly lazy friends. So these holidays shouldn't be much different. There is one down side. If I stay, I stay with my mother. Pfft i'm pretty much not going to be in the house anyway. I hope.

QuEeR wRiTiNg MaKeS nO sEnSe

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 09:16:58 GMT

Yeah...

Natalie is still scary, as per usual. Eliza is still pissing me off with her very presence, the norm.

But I did get some AWESOME news. I'm sorry all you bums who wanted me to stay in Canberra these holidays. Sorry, there has been a slight change of plan. First, me, Aaron (maybe...if he doesn't decide to be lazy and sit on his lazy ass...lazy ass) and Sarah (Oh joy, now I'm gonna have to put up with her 24/7...grrr...) are going to Brisbane to randomly be showered in xmas pressies then go and blow all our money on everybody else. Then our 'spunky Auntie di' (family nickname, don't ask) has decided to randomly put us all in a plane and fly us over-seas for New Years. I HAVE NEVER BEEN OVER SEAS BEFORE, SO THERE IS NO WAY I'M GONNA PASS THIS UP!!!! I WILL BUY CRAP FOR ALL YOU CHEAP-ASSES OUT THERE!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!

I am soooooo going to be on a massive high for the next two weeks. SO DON'T BRING ME DOWN BITCHES!!!!!

This should take me out of that loop of continious boredom I was in. FINALLY. Anyway, onto other news, I have decided to ignore Sarah. I don't know if I've done something wrong. I haven't talked to her in weeks (even though we live in the same house, but that's beside the point). She's decided to be a complete bitch to me. So fuck her. I will take crap from people, but not Sarah. If she wants to be a fuck-head to me, hell has to freeze over first.

MUST GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES, CONSIDERING I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO BE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE FOR ONCE. AND ALSO CONSIDERING MY SUMMER CLOTHES HAVE GROWN LEGS AND RAN OFF... O.O.

Why do conversations always spark my writing randomness?

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:58:58 GMT

I was talking to my friend (bridget) who commented on my msn name. (which was: It is the gun dealers who will inheret our Earth, because everyone else is too busy killing each other). She asked me if I can see any positives in our world. Here is my reply:

look all around you. We have positives. What about those starving children in Africa? What about those f*cken 10 year olds walkin across mine fields watching their friends get blown to pieces? They are the ones without any positives.

Bridget:
i know it suxs, but they take more simple things to be great, they seem to be able to see the bright side out of situations that would drive us mad

Me:
Because they have no choice. The longer they see this bright side the more they seem to suffer. And our world suppliers of food and stuff could not be f*cked doing something. They're all about beurocracy and shit.(I don't see how they sleep at night). But their lives are shit. They're good people, they deserve more then that. And the positives are so much more insignificant then our negatives. If we want to be positive, get rid of the negative. That's how things work, always have and always will

Yeah, so I think our world's shit, then these people go around sayin: 'praise the lord! We're alive!' Yes, but at what cost? And fuck your god. He supposedly sent his son down and gave us this 'world of peace'. YES! OH HOW PEACEFUL IT IS! JUST MINUS THE WAR IN IRAQ/AFGANISTAN/LEBANNON AND MINUS THE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA AND MINUS THE SOLOMON ISLANDS CIVIL WAR, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST MINUS THE WORLD! OH YES! HOW PEACEFUL WE ARE! Not. Only a fuck head would go around sayin we have a world of peace. It's all over the news and the media, and yet somehow they are STILL able to blind themselves. I just don't understand how someone could be that damn stupid/ignorant. I swear, they need to get out more.

Sorry, the random hating Christianity rant was kind of random.

Quote: Life's a whore. It fuck's everyone.

I am OFFICIALLY freaked out and LOST.

Fri, 01 Dec 2006 10:41:59 GMT

Natalie, who shall remain nameless, has become alot more... cuddly (to put it in the nicest way possible). Usually in science everyone clings onto me, which I have already bitched about, but Natalie has decided to be more 'cuddlier' then usual. She rubs her nose on my ear, slightly unnerving to say in the least. Then when we left science she KISSED ME on the top of the head. Okay, just a coincidence right? Okay, so what if she changed her msn name to: I LOVE SMIDGE for awhile? Still a coincidence? ... >.>... HELP!!!! I DO NOT REALLY LIKE NATALIE IN THAT WAY!!!!! I'm really sorry, but I don't. Oh crap. Crap crap crap crap crap!!!!!!!

Whether Or Not To Walk Away...

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 10:19:02 GMT

What would you do if your friend come to you for help? Suppose it was a situation where people you loved were getting hurt? What if you're friend was too gutless to do anything? What if they left it up to you to do something about it? What if you couldn't do anything about it? And the only one who could was your gutless friend? What if you only had two options: Stand by and watch people get destroyed and hurt as well as get hurt yourself, or walk away? But if you stayed, you'd get hurt. But if you walked away, you'd feel guilty for ages and hurt other people involved more. I don't know anymore.

WHY DO PEOPLE WANT ME TO FIX THEIR PROBLEMS? I'm not as strong as you think I am. I'm just as human as you are. Sooner or later you're going to have to learn to fix your own problems. I'm not going to be here forever.

I'm sorry...again.

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:10:42 GMT

Why did I have to go and meddle in a situation that doesn't concern me? Why did I have to go and make one of my closest friends feel like shit? If something made her happy, I should've fucking left it. I'm sorry I should keep my opinions to myself seeing as everytime I open my mouth someone ends up getting hurt. WHY DO I DO THIS? Everywhere I go I just fuck people up. Fuck, why do people bother to listen to me?!?!?!?!

OPEN YOU'RE FUCKING EYES FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 09:10:37 GMT

I was talking to my friend the other day. She waz going on about her boyfriend and sh*t. So I asked her if she loves him. She said no. So I said: 'Let me get this straight: he loves you, like, loves, loves you, but you don't love him... but instead you like this other guy...' she was all like: 'yeah well, he makes me happy.' LISTEN YOU SELFISH BITCH, THIS GUY FUCKEN LOVES YOU, OKAY? DON'T YOU THINK IT'S JUST THE SLIGHTEST BIT WRONG TO FUCK WITH HIS EMOTIONS JUST BECAUSE HE MAKES YOU HAPPY? DON'T YOU THINK HE DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH? DON'T YOU THINK HE DESERVES SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THEN YOUR LIES? YOU DON'T SEEM CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF! IF YOU LIKE SOME OTHER PERSON, THIS 'RELATIONSHIP' OF YOURS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO LAST AND THE LONGER YOU LET HIM LIVE UNDER THIS ILLUSION THE MORE YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING CRUSH HIM! FOR GOD'S SAKE GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND SPARE HIM THE PAIN! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO CRUSH HIM THAT MUCH FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING HAPPINESS AND SELF GAIN? I KNOW THIS ISN'T ANY OF MY BUSINESS, BUT UNLIKE YOU, I HAVE SOMETHING CLOSE ENOUGH TO A HEART TO KNOW THIS IS WRONG! I CAN'T JUST STAND BY AND WATCH YOU DESTROY HIM LIKE THAT!

For god's sake just open your eyes before I lose my temper with you. I'm sorry, you trusted me, and you thought I would understand, and to tell you the truth, I do understand, but for once just put yourself in someone elses shoes. Think about what you're doing. And it's not just you and your bf getting hurt here.

Do Actions Really Dictate Who We Are?

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 09:42:16 GMT

I keep hearing the same bloody thing over and over again. 'Our actions are who we are'. Well I'm here to say that is b*llsh*t. Our actions are not who we are, they are merely a PORTRAYEL of who we want others to believe we are. Our actions are not us, our thoughts are. Our thoughts and feelings are who we are. Our actions are who we want to be or want others to percieve us to be.

Onto another subject. I had to go clothes shopping AGAIN. I didn't get enough clothes last time >.< It was incerdibly frustrating, because I can't fit into womens clothes, but I can't fit into kids clothes either. >.> After getting three shirts, Everything started spinning. I felt all light-headed and dizzy, and the floor felt like it was going to rip from under my feet. It wasn't as bad if I sat down, though. But Sarah did get her hair dyed and cut. I was jealous of her prettiness, and she was jealous of my shirts, so I guess it all evened out. Then I got home and decided to listen to music instead of doing an assignment I don't feel like doing. I don't think I will bother. I'm too pre-occupied.

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 10:50:50 GMT

We've become desolate,
It's not enough it never ends,
But I will go on until the end,
I've lost my way, I've lost my way...
But I will go on until the end.
(Breaking Benjamin- Until the end)

I was so bored last night I ended up doing a tarot card reading. It was incredibly confusing, but I suppose it's my fault for asking such a confusing question. Logically tarot cards shouldn't work, but they do, and I am very curious as to why. Anyway, I tried to meditate, but I kept coughing myself into ablivion so eventaully gave up on that. So I spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling. I was so tired I started to hallucinate and thought I heard whistling coming from the kitchen O.O That was freaky.

I am becoming agitated with a few people in my group (>.>this is not aimed at people who have my Lj, I just need to bitch). Firstly, ever since Sally-Anne's party, people are clinging to me more (which I'm fine with, but the vibes I'm not fine with), and seem to think it's fine to keep annoying the crap out of me such as continous poking and clinging. Okay guys, enough is enough, learn when to stop. I am not a very affectionate person, actually I have sometimes been told I have a heart of stone, so the touchy feeling has to stop. I am aware that some people are cuddly, but others aren't, you must aknowledge that.

Again, I shall state, just incase you decided it would be a smart idea to ask: this is not aimed at anyone with my lj.

Laters, i have notin else to bitch about as of yet.

Eliza has bought a new meaning to the word 'dickhead'

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:41:41 GMT

The next couple of days in history is going to be hell. I have an assignment, and we have to work in groups of four. I'm with Liz and Cass... and Aliza Atkinson. Shoot me now. already her controlling ways are starting to test my patience... And now Cluadia's being a complete dickhead and has decided to make my history lessons that much harder to put up with. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST PUT ME IN A CLASS WITH PEOPLE I ACTUALLY LIKE??? Fucking conspiracies. >.<.

Anyways, Jay's halloween party was pretty good. Plenty of junk for all. I've decided I like Jeremy and Ox (GO THE CROSS-DRESSING!!!). They're not as scary as I imagined. And vodka really does taste like a form of gasoline. But its okay with coke. (funny, considering I don't like coke... O.O) The party was last Saturday, and I have literally not slept. There are these darks rings forming under my eyes making me look like some kind of drug addict (all I need now is the dreads ^.^)

Next is Salleh's part-ay. I have no idea what I would go as. Nothin fits/suits me, let alone is in my price range >.<... My smart-arse sister told me I should just go as myself cuz thats scary enough. (Yeah, Sarah, I wouldn't be pointing the finger if I were you). Ideas are welcome.

I hate spring

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 06:25:34 GMT

Spring is hell. I have come to the ultimate conclusion that I can't go outside without tissues. I've decided not to go out at all. Anyways, my holidays were full of laziness. I forgot to do my religion assignment (oops). I can probably get away with a last minute piece of sh*t. It looks like it's gonna rain (finally... I love the smell of rain), and I'm in the mood to write (yay). Well I still have an account on... either fanfic or quizilla, I can't remember... But I have yet to use it. Which I will.... eventually...

Writing a psychological thriller at the moment, it's going well. It's about a family, a mother, a step dad, and four kids. One of them's scitzofranic (spelling?). Heh, I was writing one of the chapters where one of them gets killed, and I scared the sh*t out of myself. Note to self: don't write scary stuff at midnight.

"I don't know which is worse: what starts the war or the war itself." Quote by ME!!!!!

I watched 'V for Vendetta' yesterday. It's a very good movie. I loved it. :P.

I finally found something I'm good at... WOOP!!!!!!!

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 22:20:01 GMT

Yeh....

Yesterday I had to spend the whole f*cking day with my f*cked up mother. Joy. Not. Anyway, she took us to some laser game thing. It was pretty much you were given a helmet and a gun (not a real one obviously). Apparently the gun had a little scope attached to it, and you had to 'shoot' the other teams helmets. You were given 'grenades' and 4 lives, and I had absolutely no bloody idea what I was doing, at first. What really sucked is the boys (Tim and Aaron) had come here a billion times before. So Sarah and I got our asses handed to us on a silver platter for the first few rounds. Lucky for me it was outside and there were barracades set up for either team. By the third round, I had figured out a small tacktic. I waited until the others were shooting each other, and I would sneak to the very corner of the barriers. And I would snipe them all. It was SO mch fun, because I was the last person standing. GO ME!!!! ^.^ Apparently if I were to join the army I'd be a good soldier ^.^ Anyway, we then played a free-for-all or an every-man/woman-for-themselves. Since there was only four of us, we were all given one corner to start in. Sarah was on the opposite side to me, which was a bad thing, for her. I waited for the boys to fight, since I couldn't get to Sarah yet. I slowly edged closer to her, and Aaron was TRYING to sneak up behind me. I turned around and blasted him with a grenade. Heh... I knew Sarah hates staying in the one place for too long, so I waited behind my barracade. Sure enough, Sarah tried the sneak attack, which failed miserably. Again, I used my grenade. SO much fun. I never thought I'd be a good shooter. Heh, awesome. For once I actually won something.

Yes, I know, a whole paragraph on my victory. But for once I beat my brother at something, and he's been doing this for some time. To me that's a great achievement.

Now my legs hurt like hell from skidding in the dirt and diving in the grass, which is alot funner then it looks. So today I think I will just stay home and watch 'friends'. Heck yeh. Oh, and one more thing before I bore you to death, I'm joining the army cadets. Yep, I plan on joining the army when I'm older. Or something. It'll be so mouch better then being cooped up in an office all day. I prefer the outdoors, obviously.

i need to update this thing more often...

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 09:46:55 GMT

I had a history assignment due today, and it was a complete disaster. I had to work with one of my friends Cass Bellani. She's a good person, don't get me wrong, but today she just really pissed me off. We had split the work between us evenly, and I did everything I could over the weekend (google is crap, by the way. I COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING USEFUL!). So after stressing for the whole weekend, I finally came to school with everything I needed. Then I find out Cass had done absolutely nothing. Thats okay, we could've done something at recess, right? Wrong. Cass decides she'd prefer to go off and ditch me in favor for getting a manga book. Yeah, thanks Cass. And then we had to show the bloody thing to the class. And after seeing everyone elses, I feel like getting a match and burning mine. I pretty much did my usual and hid behind my hair while we did our speech. Argh. Maybe I should've taken it home and did it all. That would've been more productive. Of course, me being me, I didn't think of that...

Onto a less stressing subject.
Expressing things. I got onto a random subject with one of my oh-so-random friends, who shall remain nameless, by the way. They told me how when they were in a relationship with someone, that someone never showed any emotion towards them in the way that they wanted. This made them feel insecure. (um... obviously...). So yeah, I said how that person probably has lower standards when it comes to relationships and yada yada. But when I got home, it got me thinking. What about the other someone. Some people find it alot harder to express themselves then other people for their own reasons. Maybe they fear rejection or just aren't secure enough themselves, and are just afraid to show it. Now this is just starting to sound sappy.

Its only 7:50 and I can hardly keep my eyes open. Sad...

Sarah vs. Jay....

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 10:13:38 GMT

I should update this thing more often....

ARGH.... Feel like I'm gonna snap....

ahh... Yet again Janevieve has somehow tangled herself into another problem with Sarah, or vice versa... I'm not sure which is which.... Anyway, Sarah's made it pretty clear there's no way in hell she's ever talking to Jay in a friends sort of way again, and Jay doesn't really seem to care all that much. Aside from their usual bickering over freakin lj, and me having to hear about from both sides, I have come to the sudden realisation no-one in our group (not be mean or cruel, plz don't be offended!!!!!) can actually say anything to each others faces. Like, with the whole Sarah and Jay thing, they all seem to congregate in the library to talk about sarah. No offence, but that's sort of backstabbing in a way. If people have something to say, say it to their face. I am well aware that my opinion is biased, but they seem to go on about how sarah is so-called 'over-reacting'. Do they have any background on the situation? No, they don't. So how can they be so quick to just jump to the one conclusion? I just wish that sometimes people would look at the big picture before they act. It's kind of cruel to just listen to what Jay has to say (which I have no problem with, Jay's side of the story is just as important as Sarah's), and they act only on what Jay has to say without stopping to think maybe there's more to what meets the eye. In this case, there is alot more to what meets the eye...

Here, have random Evanescence lyrics:

I’ve been looking in the mirror for so long
That I’ve come to believe my soul’s on the other side
All the little pieces falling, shattered
Shards of me to sharp to put back together,
To small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces,

If I try to touch her and I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe, no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well,
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child,
Lie to me convince me that I’ve been sick forever,
And all of this will make sense when I get better,
But I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection,
I just can’t help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love?

So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no,

Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe, no more.

FUCKING CHRISTIANITY!!!!!! why are they so wierd?

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 08:29:53 GMT

RANDOM WORD FOR THE DAY: scwab

Hey...

My friend went on an excursion the other day, and R.E one. OF course, she was bored out of her mind. so this priest was raving on about some jesus dude, and he said the most fucked up thing: 'well, of course their are no women apostles because let's face it, women are unholier then men.' Is this what that fucked up Christian religion teaches? Is this what they fucking believe? WHAT A BUNCH OF MORONS!!!!!!!Why in hell would a female join that religion anyway if that's what it teaches? I mean, that's just screwed up. Freaks.

We were given a religion assignment just the other day about what a worshipping world means to us. As in the world in general. So, instead of doing what everybody else is doing (saying that this is a peaceful world) I'm going to voice my own opinion. Instead of doing what others expect me to do, I'm going to say this is a world of war. Think about it, there is this so-called 'holy war' between Israel (the Jewish people) and Lebanon (the Muslim people) because one religion doesn't agree with another. Another example would be 9/11, when muslim terrorists decided to kill people to make a statement, because both religions (Christianity and Islam) generally don't get along. Most wars the world of today are pretty much sparked by one religion not getting along with another. So pretty much the message I will be trying to get across in my presentation would be religion is what divides us.

I have come across yet another fault in christian ideology

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 09:39:14 GMT

whoa, I haven't updated my L.J. for awhile...

Random comment of the day: SAVAGE GARDEN, EVANESCENCE AND DISTURBED ROCK!!!! :D :D :D :D!!!!!

Anyways, I waz in R.E (religious education, or in my opinion, my bludge lesson)and we were talking about 'mystics'. You know, for some reason this whole mysticism thing sounds so much like pyschicism (spelling?) which is believed in most pagan religions. Funny, I thought the christians didn't believe in 'pyschic powers' because it was magic. But for some reason this mysticism sounds just like pyschism, with a different name. They believe these mystics can see the dead, see some form of god and see into others minds... Does that sound familiar to you? Because to me, it sounds like yet again the christians decided they suck at inventing their own religion so yet again they go and steal another pagan ideology. The morons. Don't they get it? Being a pyschic (or mystic as they put it) is using magic. ARE THEY BLIND?????

This is totally off the subject, but that's not the point...
Anyway, on the subject of magic ideologies in the christian book of shit (bible) I have discovered something. I read how this so called 'god' character created the world. Here is a thought for you to ponder upon: If in the beginning there was nothing, then how did this 'god' create this world? OH! THAT'S RIGHT! He waved his magical hand and.... Oh wait, that's right! They don't believe in magic. But, without magic, then how did he create this world? Did he suddenly become some kind of genius and used his latest technology and... Oh! That's right! In the beginning there was nothing, so he couldn't have suddenly made it MAGICALLY appear out of thin air. Oh wait! I think I've got it! Maybe, for a split second, he became a witch and waved his magic wand and there you go! The world! Not...

Here's another point for you to ponder upon: When this angel went to visit Mary and told she was pregnant, did 'god' do original sin with her? Oh, right, 'god' is not like that! So then he must have again waved that magic wand and walah! There you go! A pregnant Mary!

I have also come the the random conclusion that I sing as an alto best.

Ta-Ta.

Seeing through the eyes of a psycho....

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:11:51 GMT

Yep, back again.

Well my mother is a psychotic freak. Good for me, not. I was going to write something else, but I kinda forgot. Geez, sometimes I swear I had air inside my head as oppose to a brain. I'm only writing in this right now to piss off my sister who really wants to have a go on the computer right now. Heh, im evil sometimes.

The sorry state of our world: Is the media partially to blame?

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 04:13:36 GMT

Just the other day we had to do a survay. It was on T.V shows, and other stuff like that. We had to write up the scores on the board and some girl asked us what shows we liked. The ones we could choose from were Big Brother, the O.C and Little Britian. First off, what the hell is little Britain? Second, why would I spend my time watching other poeple live when I have my own life to attend to? and third, I don't even want to talk about big brother. So when it came up to my turn to choose, I said I didn't like any of them. I have never seen anyone with a look of horror over T.V shows. She suddenly yelled out, 'why do you have to be so fucking different?' I just sat there. Best not to get into a fight over T.V. I was tempted to say something, but to see someone lash out just because you're not like everyone else really makes you wonder whether they have any sense of individuality or not. But with the amount of uneeded make up she was wearing, it made me wonder how long she has been living a drone of the media, which makes me feel kind of sorry for her.

What is it with people and fashion? Are they really that sad that they have to have someone else (such as the media) to tell them what to be? Are they that sad that they need to immatate each other? Do they really want to destroy their skin with make up? (I bet they'll regret it when their fourty) Do they need to rely on the media to tell them what's cool? Can't they decide that for themselves? Some people say that clothes and fashion make them feel good about themselves, but do you really need material to make you happy? Do you really need to screw up your skin to feel good about yourself? It just shows how many people allow the media to become a parasite and suck all the money out of them. It just think it's really sad to live like that. I think things like good friends, family and pets should make you feel happy instead of mobiles, materials, make up and what-not. At least there's still those few who are individual and self reliant.

Another thing. Why does everybody believe what the media tells them to? If the media told you to jump off a cliff, would you? If the media told you to shoot someone, would you? Some people have lost all sense of individualality. What makes me really sad, is how the media portrays people of 'middle eastern appearence'. In my old school, because of the media, so many muslims are being ridiculed and are being treated as if they were some kind of freak show. I'm starting to think, what if there was no media. Would there be less discrimination? Would people stop being treated like freaks if they were different? Would people regain some of their sense of individuality? I know the media is not the only one at fault here. Religion is also partially to blame. Religions, in essence, have good ideologies and laws, but people sometimes take them too far. They take parts of the religion they like, and ignore the rest of it and use it as an excuse to kill each other. For example, terrorists. They take apart their religion, and use the parts they like and leave the rest of it out as an excuse to kill the Americans. The media sees this, and it uses this to make money no matter what the cost, whether it be someone's life or not. What the media doesn't realize, is it's the individuals at fault here, not the religion itself. Is anybody but a select few going to see this? Or am I the only fourteen year old smart enough to know what's going on?

My mum is a pyschotic freak who I hate with a passion

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 10:07:02 GMT

Hello me again

Today I was with my mum (don't ask me why, I hate my mum) in Woden. When we were driving back home, my mum went pyschotic. She began to speed up to 140 K/phr and would purposlly almost crash into different cars but would brake at the last minute. She began to say things like 'if we crash noone would care' and 'I wonder how much more the brakes can take before they burst and we crash and die'. We told her to stop that she was insane. She didn't even care if we all died. Then we had to stop by riverside plaza for a moment, and my sister and I were able to get to a payphone to call my dad (who's divorced from my mum). He said he would pick us up, and to pack our things when we got home. When we got there, mum was busy saying how she was going to commit suicide and how we were all idiot and we were bitches and what-not. When she finally left, dad picked us up and we stopped by the police station. We told them and they said we should stay with my dad. So now, my mum is going to try to take my dad to court over this to try and get us back, which won't work. Because of my age (I'm fourteen) I am allowed to have a say of which parent I want to live with. Which would be my dad, obviously. Well, my mum the pyschotic bitch is now trying to deny that she ever tried to kill us (or almost kill us, which, by the way, goes against everything she believes in).

Isn't my life just interesting?

STUPID FUCKED UP CHRISTIANS! CAN'T THEY EVEN FOLLOW THEIR OWN RULES? STUPID HYPOCRITES!

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 23:31:44 GMT

Hello!
Time for another flooring of the book of shit! (A.K.A the bible). My mum went wierd on me the other day and started preaching from the bible, saying how Catholic she was. Only now does she realise that she isn't that Catholic seeing as she divorced two people and committed adultry several times. She is a moron. And a dick head.

Okay, now back to today's subject. You know how the bible says: 'love one another'? And you know how the Americans see themselves as 'hard core Christians'? (in my world, that would be translated as 'hard core morons')They believe they are doind 'god's' work by banning gay marriages. Is it just me, or have they completely forgotten to so-called 'love one another' rule? Does it only apply to certain people? And if people say: 'but god said it is bad', then how? How is it bad, that one person can love another person? How is it bad that two people want to share their lives together? It's exactly the same as straight marriages, so technically speaking (if your parents are still together) your parents are evil. The 'virgin' Mary is evil from marriage. Anyway, what makes straight people so much better then gay people? What is the fucking difference? Because your god says so? Well i'm sorry, but that excuse is just pathetic. (Actually, i'm not sorry. I FUCKING MEAN IT! IT'S SO PATHETIC!) And if your god is so damn loving, why can't he love gay people? That doesn't sound like a loving god to me. It sounds like a god who isn't quiet right upstairs (if you catch my meaning). If you say: 'he does love them!' Thenm answer me this: 'If he loves them so much, why the fuck can't he except who they are?'. Some people might argue that it's free will in the way, but i think it is not free will that decides who you love, it's you heart and soul. SO DON'T GO AROUND AND HATE GAYS! THEY ARE THE MOST NICEST PEOPLE IN THE FUCKING WORLD!!!!! AMERICANS ARE FUCKED UP!

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 07:47:42 GMT

HEYA PEEPS....
Well today my friends and i got together in the library (sad, i know) and we started talkin. Somehow we got on the subject of writing. Well, after talkin 'bout that for a bit, Shima (my friend) suggested we write a book together (how original). We all decided to do a fanfic(how depressing) with all our fav. characters. Mostly from things like Fruit Baskets, Steel Angel Karumi and dn angel. All in all, there are like five of us writing it, so it should be pretty good.

Anyways, today was another boring day at gulag (school in other words), aside from my constant being irritated by christianity (i can't believe people are stupid and pathetic enough to believe in that shit. Cant they see its a control thing?). My fellow writers of our story just happen to have the same views on christianity as i do, in other words we all despise the religion with a passion. (We all gather at lunch to bitch about it, about ten of us gather, though only five of us are writing the fanfic though). My sister is even helping us write it.

Enough about my day. Have you noticed that christianity is the only religion allowed on t.v? It's not like we have enough freaks going around trying to force it down our throats already. (they only want you to be christian because the more christians, the more influence they hold over you, therefor the more control they have over the world. Cant u see that?)They're even snaking christianity into shows that never had anything to do with it (like medium). They must be desperate to use the media to try and convert everyone. Why are they in so much need to control? I hate the pope. The add that's on t.v, the one that says, 'im not into religion but alot of what jesus said is good' or whatever, don't they know that believing in that bullshit book they call the bible is religion? MORONS!!!! WHAT IF WE DONT WANT CHRISTIANTIY? WHY CANT THEY LEAVE US TO CHOOSE FOR OURSELVES!!!!!!!!! It's not like theyre book of shit is believable anyway. I mean, it talks about how this 'god' destroys and kills and tortures his own people and destroys all these cities, but i don't see that happening today, do you? If you call the Tsunami 'god's work', answer me this: Why would he kill and destroy his own creaction? If you say they were corrupted by the devil, why didn't this 'god' character just wave his oh-so-powerful hand and save them from this 'devil'? Was he either to lazy or was he just being an asshole and found it funny? If 'god' exists, why doesn't he help us now, when we need help most? If you can answer me this, i would like to hear it.